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Home Up
February, 2000

Our Family
Is a circle of strength and love.
With every birth and every union
The circle grows.
Every joy shared adds more love.
Every crisis faced together makes the circle stronger.

These words were written on the gift that Finders Keepers presented to Mike Richards at his retirement celebration in Dover this month. Mike has never given me any information that the law prohibited me from having, but he has given me ideas on where to search, how to look, and the benefit of his love of family history ...anyone's family history! I will miss seeing Mike at Vital Statistics, but I know where he is and I know that his friendship was not just part of his job. For that, I'm grateful for Mike.

I think a lot of people saw a different side of Mike than what they were used to seeing at work. He kept everyone laughing at his "zinger" observations and his memories of some truly strange behaviors! I've seen this side of Mike and knew what was coming, but Mary-Lee was laughing 'till tears came for most of the night.

We both liked "Slower Delaware" Slippery Dumplings, which we agreed were a little like ravioli, but not much, and in chicken soup. Different...!

Well, it's always something, isn't it? This Sunday's News-Journal article was yet another journalistic disgrace that the paper has racked up for itself. They certainly gave adoption a good spot... front page, right next to the South Carolina primary results. But what they did with it! Ouch!

The headline was "Hunting for birth parents." As if adoptee searches are a "recreational sport." As if adoptees were predators and birth parents were their prey! Frankly, the entire article stinks.

Not one birthmother's story of a long-waited reunion was told. Not one adoptee story of a search and reunion was discussed. Not one adoptive parent was quoted.

Instead, the article focused on Catholic Charities' Donna Connor who stated that "not enough time has passed to test the situation." My first question would have been to wonder how much time she considers enough for testing "the situation." The law has been in effect for a little over a year. What rigid standards would she use to decide about the success or failure of the new law? Well, I guess we all can give a good guess at that.

The article also focused on medical records. Peg Bohannon rightly said that many adoptees aren't looking for a reunion, but then she blew it by claiming that what they did want was medical records and a "heritage." Of course, the way this article goes, Peg was no doubt misquoted or taken out of context. I wouldn't be at all surprised.

The article never quoted the people who were denied access to their birth certificate because a birthparent filed a disclosure veto. We at Finders Keepers know who at least one is, but maybe that person's story would have pointed out the problems with the law from an adopted adult's point of view.

I'm very upset, and I hope all of you write to Donna Connor, Director of Development and Community Relations for Catholic Charities, at 4th Street and Greenhill Avenue in Wilmington. I hope all of you e-mail Dennis Thompson, Jr. or call him at 324-2553. Do it today!

This is not an open records bill we have in Delaware, but neither should all Delawareans be thinking that adoptees are predators. At that rate, we will never get open records. That's apparently what the News-Journal and its wealthy puppeteers would like now, wouldn't they?

We need to change this current bill so birth parents and birth grandparents and birth siblings can get information, as they were able to do under the law before it was just amended. But we need to keep the agency intermediaries out of the picture.

We need for birth parents to be able to reclaim their child if that child is not adopted or if the child's adoption fails.

We need for accountability from the agencies. There has to be some oversight. We ask that from the teachers who have care of our children for a few hours a day, so why not from the agencies, to whom birthmothers entrust their children forever?

Well, our first support group meeting was a nice number of people. Thanks to Sandy for inviting us into her home. And a belated Happy Birthday! Sandy's special day was January 31. Hope it was fun, Sandy.

I think we really need these support meetings, so we can hash out some of the confused feelings we have about ourselves, about our adoptions or our relinquished children, or about our adoptive family relationships. We will continue these meetings. Please contact me, Ginger, or Sandy for details about the next support meeting.

As usual, we will have our regular general meeting this Thursday, February 24, at the Bear Library. Hope to see many of you there!

Special thanks to those who sent in stories, poems, and general thoughts for our newest pages. Your work is up on our Who We Are Page, and I hope many more of you will send in your thoughts about adoption. We can do wa-a-ay better than the News-Journal telling about how adoption works, can't we?

Love ya,
Ginger

December, 2000 ] October, 2000 ] April, 2000 ] March, 2000 ] [ February, 2000 ] January, 2000 ]

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Last modified: February 22, 2001