Happy New Year to one and all!
I'm especially happy with the voters of Oregon who approved Measure 58, giving people
who were adopted access to their original birth certificates in the same way as all other
adults. Of course the NCFA and six birthmothers are appealing the will of the citizens of
Oregon, but according to reports I'm hearing, even the NCFA is pretty sure this one is a
loss for the secrets and lies gang. Go-o-o-o-o Oregon!!!
Here in Delaware, we still do not have open records, but no one here is giving up the
fight. I see articles here and there that say that Delaware is open. The fact is that we
in Delaware have a disclosure veto system. This is the same system we have had since 1992.
Before an adopted adult can get his or her birth certificate, their birthmother must give
permission. The procedures have been simplified, and now that the agencies are not
involved there is no astronomical fee charged to an adoptee, nor any intermediary who
might or might not represent an adoptee truthfully. But Delaware still has a disclosure
veto system. Make no mistake about that!
Well, we have a few members who are starting out the New Year in need of a little
encouragement. Best wishes for a speedy recovery to Sandy, Barry, and Diane. Hope you all
are feeling better as each day passes. Please know that people such as yourselves, who
have done so much to help others, are not alone and will not be down for long.
Congratulations to the newlyweds, Rob and Laurie! May you grow together from strength
to strength.
We have a few members who have married and moved away. Cyndi now lives in Frederick,
Maryland, and Lori is downstate in Greenwood, DE. We keep in touch on e-mail, though, and
know that all is well and happy with you both in your new homes.
I've mentioned before that I get requests for searches from all over, and by e-mail
I've met and kept in touch with a lot of folks who are searching and their search has a
Delaware connection, or seems to at the time. Sometimes I'm able to help people I meet
"in cyberspace" even though they have no Delaware connection.
Congratualtions to Jackie, who is now stationed in North Carolina and who found her
brother, Danny. And David found his sister in California. Sadly, David's story is not all
smooth sailing. His sister has leukemia, and David may be the only one who can help with a
bone marrow transplant. Of course the transplant is uncomfortable, but not a real problem.
Because of this medical need, records in Pennsylvania were opened with the help of a
Senator in Delaware. Too bad we have to wait until things like this happen to have access
to information. Non-adopted people, of course, take so much for granted. I'm sure David's
sister would have preferred to meet under healthier circumstances, and they both would
have preferred to get to know one another easily.
I would like to take this opportunity to stress something to adoptive parents. You
need to get your child's birth certificate now. Even if he or she is an adult, and
even if he or she does not seem interested at this time, you should have a copy of the
birth certificate. Who knows what will happen in the laws later on?
Right now, for instance, there is a law being proposed that would limit a birth father
to only thirty days after his child is born to register his paternity. This law even says
that if he doesn't know about the pregnancy, that is no excuse. After thirty days his
rights are terminated. This is language right from the UAA that we fought against not that
long ago. I'm afraid that what they couldn't get as a whole package, they will try to get
in little bits. So, if you are an adoptive parent, please request a copy of your child's
original birth certificate. You may be able to get it now, if his birthmother agrees, but
who knows what will happen in five or ten years or even sooner?
Please send in your Genuardi's receipts. They are changing the color of their
receipts, and are giving us a limited time to take credit for the pink receipts. So, if
you have any, please get them in, even if there are only a few. We will redeem them
probably at the end of the month.
Also, please use our amazon.com link to order books. Go to our
Sandy has kindly offered us the use of her home for these meetings as long as we can
come up with times and dates that are convenient for her. Thanks so much Sandy, from all
of us. We really feel the need for these support meetings now. In the past we had them to
help people with the frustration and disappointments that came with searching, and these
are still issues that need to be addressed. In addition, though, we now need to help birth
mothers and fathers even more. There has been so much focus on the adult who was adopted
recently, and that is all to the good. But the new law that was passed in Delaware put an
end to birth parent searches. Birth parents are still finding the person that they
surrendered, but for some it is hard to understand why their child has not contacted them
as soon as the law was passed. For some, who have reunited with their children, it is hard
to find out that the placement was not what had been promised, and that their children
have lots of problems. Many people have asked for an opportunity to talk to other adoptees
to find out how they feel about various things, so those of you who were adopted, please
don't feel that this is just for birth parents! The support meetings are for
everyone...birth parents, adoptive parents, and adults who were adopted. We really need to
talk to one another and help one another in many ways.
I hope to see all of you either at the general meeting, the support meeting, or both.
Take care.
